a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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