He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
