I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
