Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
