is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
