First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
