Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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