I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
handjob tips. give me some.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
