yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
