My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
