Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
