I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I am one with the molecules
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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