Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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