why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
