Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
