I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
