No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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