i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
