The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
