There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
