im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize