I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
