i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
