But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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