I must be too annoying 4 u.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
