Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
