Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
