ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
