how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
