It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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