Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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