she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
