Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
