hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
