So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
