is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
