So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
