physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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