Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
