Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
