uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
this boner is exhausting
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
