dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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