Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
