please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
