does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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