i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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