So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
