This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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