I can tuck mytits in my pants
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
