East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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