His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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